 Khajiit's Perspective on Cyrodiil |
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| Added by | Beyond Skyrim: BSAssets | ||
| ID | xx602538 | ||
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| Type | 1 | ||
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Khajiit's Perspective on: CYRODIIL
A WORK BY ZA'DAKKI, PART OF HIS 'KHAJIIT'S PERSPECTIVE' SERIES ON THE CULTURES OF TAMRIEL. PURCHASE OTHER INSTALLMENTS FROM ALL GOOD BOOK STORES! REMEMBER - IF THEY DON'T SELL IT, PESTER THE STORE OWNER UNTIL THEY DO!
Za'Dakki comes today to tell you of the cosmopolitan heartland of the Empire, Cyrodiil. No doubt many Khajit [sic] are familiar with the Imperial province, but for those who are not, prepare to experience shock and awe, delight and fright. And a little bit of attraction to your brave explorer-reporter-author Za'Dakki, no?
Cyrodiil is a place of bountiful treasure and varied creatures. It is also of varied inhabitants, predictable given its central location. Just as there are many men and mer, there are also many Khajiit. With that said, do not expect to find them reliably - they are scattered and do not congregate in central locations like the Dunmer of Cheydinhal or the Nords of Bruma. This means that you should not expect to find a mate so easily in Cyrodiil. Oh, but if you do find an eligible young Khajiit in the wild, then you will no doubt experience one of the most ravenous and sweet experiences of your life, beneath the sun or the stars, rolling around in the foliage.
Ahem. Za'Dakki digresses. Perhaps he should consider hiring an editor.
The Nirn Theater is a fantastic institution, indeed. Situated on the Imperial Isle, it plays host to the most entertaining and delightful plays Za'Dakki has ever seen! Of course, Za'Dakki, as established in 'Khajiit's Perspective on: High Rock', struggles to restrain himself when watching such performances, and this is also true with the Nirn Theater. While his outbursts during the village plays in High Rock simply earned him displeased glares and bewildered stares, his outbursts in the Nirn Theater got him a most displeasurable spanking from one of the institution's most flamed playwrights, the renowned Classius Curio.
In the wilderness, Za'Dakki must confess he stumbled upon a strange sight, indeed. Near Leyawiin - a shrine to what he believes to be a Daedric Prince! There was a statue of a man, stood wearing strange pantaloons and a cane, and when he approached the shrine he was harassed by a rather eccentric Bosmer, demanding that he "present the calipers from the vomitus". This was a most unnerving experience for Za'Dakki, so he ran all the way back to Leyawiin and awaited the first ship out of Cyrodiil.
Overall, Za'Dakki finds Cyrodiil a most pecuiar but fairly agreeable place. However, if you want skooma, moon sugar or delightful Khajiit ladies, this one believes you may be better off looking Elsweyr. Get it? That was a pun, yes? O-ho! Delightful!