Online:Hervod

Hervod
Location	South of Mammoth Ridge
Race	Nord	Gender	Male
Reaction	Friendly

Hervod

Hervod is a Nord salt merchant found in The Rift. Jee-Lar sends to find him once you've got enough mammoth meat to feed an expedition, as the meat needs to be preserved for the long-haul. Evidently lonely out there, you have a choice of either paying him to get the salt or sit down with a mug of mead and tell a joke.

Related QuestsEdit

•  Salty Meats: Help gather food supplies for Cyrodilic Collections latest Murkmire expedition.

Quest-Related EventsEdit

You will need to buy some salt from him during the quest.

"Hey there!" Come to salt some buy … er, buy some salt?"

Yes. I need some salt. Jee-Lar told me you could help with that.

"Oh, sure, I can sell you some salt … when I'm done with my break. Already cracked into this cask. Can't let it go to waste."

When will your break be over?

"Reckon I could finish this by tomorrow morning. You could come back then … but if you're in a hurry I suppose you could help me polish it off. Wouldn't mind the company. Gets duller than Reachman wit out here."

No thanks. I'll make it worth your while if you just sell me the salt. [69 ]

"Bah. You're no fun. Fine, here's your salt. Guess I'll go back to drinking alone."

Sure, I'll drink with you.

"Great! I've got a spare mug right over there. Have a drink! Put your feet up!"

All right. I'll be right back.

If you stop talking to him before making a choice and return, he will say:

"Well? Going to help me polish off this mead, or are you too busy for fun?"

Is this how you always do business?

"Whenever I can! Who wants to haggle sober? Not me, I'll tell you that much. And it wouldn't be fair if I was the only one inebrate … inebriaded … drunk."

Let's not haggle then. This ought to be enough to cover the salt and then some. [69 ]

All right. I'll take you up on that drink.

If talked to before having a drink he'll say:

"Go on! Drink up, friend!"

Once you have drunk the mead, he'll ask you to tell him a joke.

"Good stuff, eh? Goes down smooth and wallops like a raging mammoth!
Hey … hey! Tell me a joke! I haven't heard a good joke in ages!"

A joke? Let me think.

"Don't go telling me any jokes that need thinking. It's not in the spirit of … the spirits. Hah!"

All right. Have you heard the one about the horse?

"A few—but they're all raunchier than an Argonian maid. Let's hear yours, eh?"

A pony goes to a healer and says he's got a sore throat.

"Yeah? So what's the healer say?"

Don't worry—you're just a little horse.

"A little—? Oh! Har! That's a good one!
Well, looks like we've reached the dregs, so a deal's a deal. Here's your salt. Don't be a stranger, eh?"

What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?

"I don't know. What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?"

A tale of WHOA!

"A tale of— Ha! Say, that's not bad!
Well, a deal's a deal. Here's your salt. Don't fall off your horse on the way back to Jee-Lar, eh?"

What kind of bread does a horse eat?

"I don't know. What kind of bread does a horse eat?"

Thoroughbred.

"Oh, by Orkey, that is terrible! Har! Let me get you that salt before you tell me another!
Thanks for the company. Be sure to tell old Jee-Lar I said hello!"

Right. Have you heard the one about the Daedric Prince?

"Daedric Prince? Bad luck, that. But I'm game! Go ahead!"

Why should you avoid making Molag Bal mad?

"I don't know.

He always Coldharbours a grudge

"Oof. I think that one could use some work, friend! Har! I'd help, but we've run dry.
Best take your salt. Do yourself a favor and stick to the adventuring, eh?"

Why is Boethia such a good writer?

"I don't know. Why is Boethia such a good writer?"

She's the Prince of Plots.

"Har! Oh, that's a real stinker, friend! I love it!
I guess you'll be wanting your salt now. Ah well—a deal's a deal. You take care out there, all right?"

How many tickles does it take to make Hermaeus Mora laugh?

"I don't know. How many tickles does it take to make Hermaeus Mora laugh?"

Tentacles.

"Tentacles? Oh. Har! That's good! I mean … it's bad, but you know what I mean!
Here's your salt. You take care now. Tentacles … ha!"

Fine. Have you heard the one about the craftsperson?

"A trade joke? Ha—this I've got to hear. Go ahead.'

When should you avoid a blacksmith?

"I don't know. When should I avoid a blacksmith?"

When she's lost her temper.

"Ugh! That is a groaner! Think I'll use that the next time I'm in town. Might be soon, I'm out of mead! Hah!
Here's your salt. Take care out there, friend!"

Why did the fool throw his dagger away?

"I don't know. Why did the fool throw his dagger away?"'

Because an enchanter had runed it.'

"Har! By Orkey, that is a stinker. Good thing I love stinkers!
Here's your salt. You take care out there, all right?"

Why did the Orc decide not to be a tailor?

"I don't know. Why did the Orc decide not to be a tailor?"

He wasn't suited for the job.

"Oof! Har! I think I've heard worse, but I'm not so sure!
I won't pester you for another. I don't think I could take it! Here's your salt. Take care, friend!"

I will. So long.

If you speak with him before heading back to Jee-Lar, he'll say:

"I think … yeah, I'm sobering up. Time for another round!"

NotesEdit

• Hervod is dressed in the Solitude Stevedore's Jerkin costume.